Bad Brain

My morning routine. Coffee. Journal. Exercise. Oatmeal. Newspapers. Walk dogs. Write. Day after day. Habits are good. The cycle can’t be broken. Not until my bad brain engages…

Coffee. Smells so wonderful. A good strong cup to start the day and get my brain running, right?

Check. Coffee good for the ol’ brain here.

Now with a little coffee in me, I can put on my thinking cap and journal for a few minutes.

Think? This early?

Look, brain, you’ve had your coffee. It’s time to get to work. Just help me scribble some thoughts in this journal.

For Pete’s sake. Fine, I’ll work for a few minutes. Hurry up.

Great. Thanks. Now let’s exercise.

Exercise? You did that yesterday. You can skip today. No harm in missing one, little, tiny day.

Shut up! I need to exercise every day. I can’t miss a day like I could when I was younger. Let’s start with some stretching to loosen the muscles.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Aren’t you done yet?

All we’ve done is warm up. We need to do the rest.

This is boring. You don’t have to do all of it, do you?

Every single set. Get over it.

Maybe I can distract you with a good story idea.

Hush!

Sigh.

Now, see, exercise complete. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

It was awful. I’m so hungry,

Good. Me too. Let’s get some oatmeal.

Oatmeal? Yech! Don’t we have some bagels and cream cheese? Eggs and bacon? Sausage biscuits? Left over pizza?

Pizza? Are you serious? Are we back in college?

Maybe we’re back in grade school. Let’s have some Lucky Charms!

It’s oatmeal. Deal with it.

Sigh. I’m going to gag.

You’ll live. I’ll distract you with newspapers.

Boring. Let’s check Facebook instead.

No social media this early.

Twitter?

Still social media.

Instagram?

What part of no social media do you not understand?

Why would we watch YouTube?

YouTube?

We’re reading the newspaper.

Fine. Let’s start with the comics.

International news. National news. Local news. Then we end with comics.

You’re no fun.

But at least I’m educated about the world.

Are you done yet?

Yes, we’ve read it all, so let’s walk the dogs.

Walking the dogs is fun!

Glad we agree. Let’s go.

Oooh. It’s still dark. It’s cold. It might rain. Let’s wait a while.

Does it look like the dogs will wait?

What if I just stay in the warm, dry, lit house while you and the dogs walk?

I think we are a package deal. Let’s go.

Well, I’m not going to think while we’re out there.

We’ll survive.

Not thinking. Not thinking. Oooooh. I have a cool idea for a story.

Argh! I have no way to write it down.

Well, you better remember it when we get back home.

Isn’t that your job, brain?

I’m not very good at remembering things because… SQUIRREL!

Ack!

Oh, no, it was a leaf. Never mind.

Why did you do that? Now what was that great idea?

Uh. I don’t remember.

Of course you don’t. Especially now that the walk is over and we’re back home.

Sorry.

Well, you can make it up to me. We need to get another chapter written, so let’s sit down at the desk for a few hours. Can you concentrate for me?

Sure.

Good.

By the way, do you want to hear that cool song by The Vamps? It goes like this…

Stop it. You’re supposed to be helping me write. Not remembering songs.

Oops.

Focus.

Mmmmmm. It was a dark and stormy night.

That’s not funny.

Fine. I’ll be serious.

Good.

By the way…

Yes.

Did you remember to feed the dogs?

Crap.

Interesting Links: Grammar Purity

Way back in my college days, a professor listed a number of phrases and sentences on an exam. We were to identify whether the item was grammatically correct and, if not, to specify what correction was needed. One of the phrases I missed continues to bother me:

To boldly go where no man has gone before

The “correct” answer was the sentence contains a split infinitive and should be reworded “To go boldly…”

But is that right? And is beginning a sentence with a conjunction wrong? And who gets to decide?

This essay on grammar purity challenges the commonly accepted notion that grammar is a set of rules that can not be violated. A thought-provoking article for those of us who make our living with words (a sentence fragment!).

Books Read: Blindsighted

I read 100 novels a year and share the best with you.

The rape and murder of a blind college professor sets off the hunt for a sadistic serial killer, but can he be identified and stopped?

Click for a more detailed synopsis

Vocabulary Word Of The Week: Captious

A captious person is someone who has an ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections. A captious question is one designed to trap a person into an argument.

The word traces back to the Latin captio meaning deception or verbal quibble.

Makes you think of certain people on social media, doesn’t it?

Gratuitous Dog Picture

In the corner of the study is the reading chair, a comfortable spot by the window to relax with a good book. Landon has settled into the chair and is awaiting story time.

Read me a story!

Bad brain was originally published at https://dkwall.com on March 27, 2022. Visit for more information about me or my books.

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Author living in Asheville NC with a herd of rescued Siberian Huskies. My stories are totally true except for the parts I make up. Visit dkwall.com

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